Thursday, October 26, 2006

Ikea Espresso Pot Funny Smell

preparing Manga

Thursday, October 19, 2006

He Fingered Me And It Stings

The decision at the fork

Ich danke erstmal allen, die mir Tipps mit auf den Weg and give me down so on my way, but most of all sheet metal fox, thanks:)

And I did yesterday much and thought long and come eventually to the conclusion that it will bring me in the end, nothing, I will return to the ice block to , can be just as earlier it is not always more, and the justification for this is not just there.

But I really must find the way to the zero point of my existence, no matter at what cost.
I must bring forth that which lies dormant in me yet, and process, otherwise it will not go.
The road will be hard indeed and very rocky, but what lies at the end of the road is so important.

First, I will use the self-hatred at last Get rid of because I will graduate with my past once and for all, on the other hand I can the wall, the essence, leave out what ever easy, is it not needed, because at the end of the path will die at least a part of me that if I do not even die for it and all will ultimately lead to a new person.

And I do think that there is so much worse can not be, I did not really lose anything, but can only win.
All this will not only myself but also my surroundings and the people with whom I have to do and I love to come good.

It will take a long time and I really hope that I will be finished and not before that perish.

The first step I have done yesterday, as I've admitted the pain and just cried ...
Even if I force myself to part had, but it helped and it was the last step in the realization that things can not continue.

I would be myself and at others only a basis. Now do / can I work against it:)

If I'm on my way to myself, to the zero point, I'm going to reveal much unloading,.
memories, thoughts, feelings, things of which I myself do not even know that they even exist (yet).

Now I have two aims, firstly one that is my secret, on the other
to be a new, better person if I die on my zero point, and then again like the phoenix from the ashes arise again elevators:)

So long

a beta, the zuschreitet on their future and to finally be ~

Wednesday, October 4, 2006

Pros And Cons To Convection And Conventional Oven

... Some doubt

I think a lot ...

And yet I come to no decision.
If it is to end this way, as always, I'll just make tight and run away ...
And then everything will be fulfilled ... self-fulfilling-phophecy.
I will doing all broken, everything that means something to me, and I will do
hurt people I love ...

I will simply close down, toughen me until I am cold as ice ...

The circle will close again, as it always happens ...
And I will not stop can, because I can not help ...

catch up it is me and I can not replace simple ...

The circle of fear, flight, the hatred of myself, anger and disappointment with myself, all come back ...

I will begin to destroy me, until I'm dead again, physically and mentally, and then I'm going to start fighting again until everything back exactly arrives ...

The mistakes they continue to persecute me and they will never leave me and I will commit again and again, without anything turn to change ...


A depressed and not himself satisfied with beta, which lets them slowly once again the head ... So just a